bird is the word

so it's starting to sink in. she passed away at 1 am on 11/23. about a month later is when it started to sink in more. my theory is that this "delay" is a result of her not being in my daily routine. what's it like to not have a mom? to those of you who have lost a mother (or father) - i'm sorry. i see now that even with a dying mother i never truly understood what was to come. no one can. even now i can't. i can't even comprehend the loss of my own mother. what has been a terribly sad realization, is that i can't seem to even remember her before she was diagnosed in 2008. it was the day after my 24th birthday that they told me about the lesion in her pancreas. i'm now 28. have i been so wrapped up in this that i can't remember? she was so courageous and brave all those years. i managed to get through it. but this grief is unlike anything i've experienced since 2008. i thought it was uncertain and unpredictable back then... but NO...

I wanted to share this with the world. My eugoogooly (thank you Zoolander for that!) for my mom, Jade Yong, who passed away on November 23rd, 2012. Whether you knew my mom or not, you know know she was an amazing selfless, loving mom. She was diagnosed with Stage 2 Pancreatic Cancer ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pancreatic_cancer )  in July 2008, had the Whipple Procedure done ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pancreaticoduodenectomy ) in August 2008, started chemotherapy and chemo radiation treatment in September 2008. In Spring 2009, we found out a few tumors grew in her liver, then started up chemo again (pills and IV - side effects were mild). The doctors gave her 3-6 months. Fast forward to 2012.. almost four and a half years later. She's still fighting, still being brave, still enjoying life. Her liver began to shut down earlier this year. Just before Thanksgiving, her kidneys started to go. She was admitted into the hospital the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. My dad and I had ...